Welcome to the Inbetweenie Club, It Sucks Here

I’ve felt unrepresented by my size/shape on the highstreet for years, and it was reassuring to see on twitter that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way after a short convo with some fellow people struggling to find where their places were in the world of fashion. The word inbetweenie was coined by Queen Beady and finally I found a word that felt appropriate to how I feel about my shape. 

I’m 5ft 11, I have the height of the supermodel, but not the figure of one – my legs are even longer being the average length for someone who is 6ft 2. I have 36G boobs which sounds massive, but they don’t dominate my frame (actually 35 if I’m being specific which makes finding bras as much of a chore as clothes). 36G’s make it hard to find things that stretch or button over a difficult task in itself. I have a naturally big bum which has always been the case which most of the women in my family are blessed with, even at my skinniest size 12, my booty rivaled Beyonce’s. Thanks to spending a lot of my teenage years lugging around compost bags, and pushing heavy trolleys on my parents nursery I’ve got muscly but not toned arms and legs which have never gone away, even when I was doing the Body Confidence Program the inches on my legs and arms barely shifted throughout. My stomach is getting flatter, and it’s the only place where I feel like I do drop weight. For the first time in years I feel like my sides are actually flat to my natural curves and there’s no unwanted muffin top making me feel even weirder about my body shape for the first time in years.

I’m a size 16, edging into the plus size category except for am I for my height? Being a size 16 at 5ft 11 is very different proportionately to being a size 16 at 5ft 4 (not that there’s anything wrong with being that size either BTW). Size 16 clothes on the high street are often cut to accommodate a bigger stomach, which is one of my smallest parts in proportion to the rest, needing to find clothes that fit over my boobs, size 16, 18 or in some cases 20 – can mean that the rest of the garment can look like a tent on my arms and belly.

I don’t know where my body and shape belongs in shops. The only shop I can generally rely on for a good fit is Dorothy Perkins, I have 20 pairs of their Eden jeggings as they’re the only trouser I’ve found which are long enough for me, stretch over my bum but don’t gape when they reach my waist. But can’t rely on Dorothy Perkins for everything all the time, most of the time their more ‘non basic’ stuff just isn’t really my style with the patterns and fabrics they use. New Look has a tall range, but their selection never tends to extend past about 20 items, and they never actually have it in stores. Topshop is the only other shop on the high street that do a tall section and finding something that’s a size 16 and tall is near on impossible. Especially if you’re like me and want to see stuff in person so i can see how it’s going to button or stretch over my various body parts.

life-as-an-inbetweenie-3

(Photos are from my engagement shoot with Charlotte Maddison Photography, Thank you Charlotte for making me like pictures of myself for one of the first times in about 5 years)

Shopping in “normal” sections built for the Average Jo (proud of that one!) would normally not have been a problem until 2 years ago, and WHAM BAM, cropped cuts and the reincarnation of the mini cut started appearing everywhere. Cropped and Mini cuts do not work on someone who is 5ft 11 and everything is already shorter than it should be, let alone taking the rest of my body’s curves into consideration. I used to love going shopping for clothes, but I’ve had times over the past few years when I’ve “had to” find something and have ended up on the dressing room floor distraught in tears that nothing, anywhere seems to fit me.

I now hate going shopping for clothes on the high street (shoes and makeup are clearly fine though), but I’m a person who loves to see things in person. I can generally tell from how something is on the hanger if it’s going to stand a chance of fitting. Despite its recent bad press in the blogosphere over the past week, ASOS has been my savior over the past 2 years. Their tall section goes all the way up to a size 18, and even when I was a bit bigger their curved range was cut actually long enough for me to not have to have a mental breakdown about the combination of curve and tall not existing. Their Premier service has been worth every penny, £9.99 for a whole years next day delivery is amazing when it’s a total pot luck for you as to whether things will fit, I can order from ASOS 3 times in a week if I’m hunting for a perfect dress or skirt and still have it in time for the weekend when I need my shiny new garment.

I am DREADING going wedding dress shopping in a few weeks. My whole reason for joining the Body Confidence program was to feel better for going dress shopping as quick as possible, and do you know what I’ve got more body confidence than I ever have done before. But that hasn’t stopped me thinking stuff is not going to fit me correctly. I know shops order you the dress in your size and they can work wonders in alterations, hell I’ve watched enough episodes of Say Yes To The Dress over the past 6 months to know that for sure. But I hate the idea of taking such a big leap of faith that when it will arrive in 6 months time it will be what I hoped for and fit as it’s meant to. Wedding dress shopping is meant to be an exciting milestone event and I’m not 100% looking forward to it. Pray for me next Friday, I’ll be having an anxiety breakdown.

If you don’t fit in the average bubble, I feel you. Welcome to the Inbetweenie Club, most of the time it sucks here – but remember it’s not your fault that there’s no box you can tick where you belong.

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Helpless Whilst Drying

Email: helplesswhilstdrying@gmail.com

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75 thoughts on “Welcome to the Inbetweenie Club, It Sucks Here

  1. Great post I am totally with you on this I’m 6ft a size 16 long legs short body. I have a large chest toned arms and legs. The difference being I’ve no bum no hips and a muffin top no matter how slim I am from the back I look like s size 12 as I’m not at all wide but due to my stomach side on I’m really round. I’m often mistaken for a pregnant woman as the rest of me looks rather slim and proportionate. I hate shopping for clothes and get really frustrated that tall ranges are online so I can’t see how things will hang on me. I thought no this is why in so in to make up save the shades it works.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Being just under 5ft, I’m at the opposite end of the scale height wise but boy do I feel you. Especially after having my little girl, Willow. I went from a size 8-10 before pregnancy to a size 12-14 post pregnancy. A size 12 is too big up top (or poorly fitted in certain places such as my tummy) but too small on bottom and a size 14 just hangs off me. It’s a bloody nightmare looking for clothes. I was already dreading looking for a wedding dress with me being so short and all but if I can’t shift the weight then there’s yet another reason to dread wedding dress shopping. *sigh*

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  3. I’m glad I’m not the only person who has the Eden jegging in numerous colours! I really struggle finding trousers that fit right, and for the last few years have just given up and bought from Dorothy Perkins in every available colour!

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  4. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, I’m 5’9″ with no boobs or bum but wide hips and a saggy tum, stick legs and clown feet!

    That’s why I started sewing for myself….that way I can get exactly what I want and it fits!

    I think you’re beautiful anyway and don’t let the shops or anyone else (including yourself) let you thing otherwise

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    1. Aww thank you!
      I would love to find time to sew my own things, I bought a sewing machine 4 years ago and it’s only been used about 10 times, mostly for repairs! Just can’t seem to find time to do it, renovating the house, 2 crazy dogs and wedding planning leave me with no spare time! 😦 Feel you on the clown feet too, size 8s!

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  5. What happened to ASOS in the bloggersphere, I think I missed something?
    I feel you though, I always prefer seeing things in person. I am a very quick shopper, it takes me 1 scan of the room to spot anything that might have a chance of fitting nicely, but it’s that much more difficult to do online. Then there’s all the wait until you get a refund…

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    1. You can have a read here if you fancy. Post went pretty viral on Twitter! https://lottielamour.co.uk/2016/08/15/what-is-going-on-at-asos-a-frustrated-plus-size-girls-tale/
      One of the reasons I like asos is that they refund quickly; I shopped at chi chi recently and it took 3 weeks after my return for them to process it and refund me! When you’re potentially trying several nice occasion dresses for choice at £70 each it’s not good enough, wouldn’t order from them again!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t always get my Asos refunds quickly, it definitely took them around 2 weeks more than once, although sometimes it would just be 4 days or so. Probably just depends on how busy they are. Their customer service is a nightmare, nobody ever pick up the phone or answers the emails, I was only able to contact them through chasing them up on Facebook, which was ridiculous. Still like it though haha

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  6. I’m not an inbetweenie, but I understand your frustration in finding clothes that fit – the smallest size that every store carries, even if it’s from the petite section, is too big for me.
    Try not to get too stressed about the wedding dress. Mine just came back last weekend after 4 months, and even though I’m “special-sized”, other than a very minor alteration to the bust, it fits perfectly. Like you said, those stores are able to do wonders!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your not an inbetweenie, your a below an inbetweenie so I get you!
      I think I’m just starting to overthink dress shopping now which isn’t helping, I wasn’t that bothered three months ago but the closer it gets, the more fear I have that I’m going to have to take a leap of faith that something will look right when it arrives. Makes me nervous! how long til your big day? xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hehe, the closer you get to an important date, the more stressful it gets! I totally understand the worry though – but you have to remember that these wedding dress stores see girls with so many different body types and body “concerns” that they are good at figuring out how to make the dress fit you perfectly!
        lol, we’re still a long ways away till the big day! Still almost exactly 10 more months to go 😛

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      2. Heh, seems like we just did things in different order, that’s all! We just did our engagement shoot two weekends ago and are still waiting to get the photos back.
        That’s a totally fair point about waiting in case you change your mind! I’m a part of a local wedding group on FB, and I’ve seen women who buy a dress, then keep looking (WHY??), find another one they like better, so they buy it and then try to resell the first one (and usually no one is interested)! Better to hold off till you’re SURE. Some also leave it till later because they think their weight will change closer to the wedding. The next 8 months will fly by!

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      3. I have no idea why you would do that to yourself, aren’t you meant to try on the dress and know that’s the one?! Why would you keep looking, if you’re not sure you shouldn’t buy it, so wasteful!
        Our photographer is currently pregnant and is taking some time off afterwards and I think we’re one of her first weddings next year, I would have liked to have the engagement shoot a bit closer to the wedding but I guess it’s fine as we’ll get more hectic the closer we get!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I know, right?! Just crazy and like you said, a complete waste of money.
        Yes, very true about just getting the engagement photos done earlier as opposed to later…one more thing to check off your list! We also wanted to do ours a bit closer to the wedding, but we didn’t want to be taking photos in the winter when we’d freeze our butts off outside for two hours, LOL.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m kind of the opposite in terms of I’m only 5 ft 4 (with small legs for a 5 ft 4 person!) but a tall torso, big boobs but a small waist. My thighs are average size 8 but look chunky in proportion to the rest of my legs and therefore jeans are a) too long and b) the knee rips are on my shins!! I buy top shops cropped jeans to fit me and they’re great as they have different waist measurements too but if I tried to pick a general size 8 pair of jeans, the waist is too big, the legs are too long and the thighs are a tad of a squeeze. Same with tops, I comfortably need a ten to cover my boobs but it’s too big at the waist and still comes up too short so I end up buying an 8 so it at least fits my figure. It does feel very demoralising as in one shop you can be one thing and then in another you could be 2 sizes higher. I hate shopping for clothes and probably haven’t bought anything for months as o don’t find it enjoyable looking in the mirror and realising bits fit but bits don’t. This post made me both sad and relieved so thank you for writing this and also don’t feel like your alone. We have opposing body types but the issues are still there! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes this is what I was trying to get at whether you’re the opposite end or the same end we can all relate to each other’s hang ups and problems. 😘
      Me too I hate shopping especially when I really need something like a dress for a wedding, that always tends to be when I can’t actually find what I need is when I need it the most!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Me too. Then I end up wearing something from my wardrobe and not feeling very special or wearing a shift dress as I love the way they look and they’re pretty much guaranteed to fit alright but there’s only so many shift dresses you can wear!!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. This was interesting to read, from a different vantage point. The petites market used to be void of products but now I see petites sizes everywhere! It’s high time that your in between club gets some representation too!
    And you’ll be fine with wedding dress shopping – that’s the one type of clothes that I know you’ll be able to get altered to the nth degree. You just enjoy the experience of dress shopping! And please PLEASE do not tell them at the dress shop that you want to “feel like a princess” – ugh, that is uttered too often in “Say Yes to the Dress”!
    Those photos from your enegagement shoot are lovely! (but still cheese) 😛

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  9. Great post and you look so gorgeous on your photos 😍 I m 5ft2 and was a trousers size 14 for a couple of years and couldn’t find any trousers that didn’t need alterations as clearly bigger also means taller 🙄 Makes no sense! I m a size 8-10 now but have a biiiiig booty so there s more than 1 size difference between my upper half and lower body so struggle a bit with dresses! Enjoy your wedding dress shopping I m sure you ll find the one 😘😘

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  10. I totally get this post. I’m a size 8 UK but have 30G boobs which I know sounds like the dream for a lot of girls but it honestly makes finding clothes a nightmare! Everything either makes me look a lot larger than I am or like some kind of Halloween secretary. It’s so annoying as I find high street only seems to cater for very thin or curvy girls but not girls who are slimmer but with big boobs xxx

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  11. I really hope we can actually meet up when I go to England, and for more reasons than just this, but I can’t wait to take a picture together because I can’t remember the last time I took one with a friend who was my height! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I totally feel this! I’m 5″10 and a size 12 which sounds relatively “normal” except my boobs are a 32G which don’t fit into normal size 12s, 14s are way too big and I’ve got large thighs and stomach which make finding jeans and skirts a pain in the ass! I dread clothes shopping but I just can’t risk ordering online. Good luck wedding dress shopping! I hope it goes much better than you’re expecting it to ❤

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  13. Big boob problems are totally under-rated, I don’t know how you feel but I feel like mine fit my frame, they aren’t the sort which look so disproportionate to the rest of me that it’s all people look at, and I think that’s even worse as other people don’t know what you’re talking about! I’ve been looking for buttoned up shirts for years, and I’ve finally found two that I like and fit without looking like a tent, or gaping around the boobas. The knock on effect of boobs into how the rest of the garment fits is enormous, can instantly make things feel too short, too tight, too baggy!
    This actually went up the end of August, and I actually managed to find a dress and it wasn’t as painful as expected! I did have to order it in a size 22 (I now wear a 14-16 top and 16 bottoms) thanks to my boobs though and there will have to be several sizes taken down out of my waist to make it fit properly. THANKS BOOBS, you gonna make that alteration expensive.

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  14. You look so beautiful and absolutely gorgeous in your photos! I think you will look so lovely in your dress 😀 ahhh crop tops and bardot necklines/sleeves are the bane of my life, the shops love them, I love them, except I don’t suit them >< I have overly broad shoulders which means I always have to order a bigger size, and my belly hasn't gone back in to shape since having my son waaah! xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara | (lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth, that’s sweet thank you. I’ve now ordered my dress the whole experience wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be! I’ve just bought my first bardot top and it annoys the crap out of me, it rolls and the elastic that’s meant to keep it in place just flips over!
      Followed you on bloglovin, I’ll come back later to have a read as I’m just starting work!
      xx

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  15. Loved reading this post because I feel like it does articulate such a struggle. I’m 5″11 and whilst I love my size (10/12) and cant complain i do find it hard to find outfits that compliment tall women. Despite models being around my height or even taller the high street really doesnt cater to women who aren’t cutesy and petite.

    Abigail Alice x

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    1. I’m sure you must find the same as me, everything is too short unless you are prepared for things to be a mini cut all the time! I recently went dress shopping for a wedding and went to every shop in the city over 2 days and I couldn’t find anything that was cut for someone who is taller or doesn’t want a mini skirt! Ridiculous! Thank you for reading xx

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    1. Thanks Rosy! I have a big bum too, no matter how skinny I’ve been I’ve always had a disporporiately big bum! I recommend the ASOS rivington jeggings – if you like them with a zip, and the dorothy perkins Eden ones – they seem to have plenty of bum room and are still a skinny fit 🙂 xxx

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  16. Hi there! I’m an in-betweenie as well – my calves are skinny, my thighs and waist are big – so shopping for jeans can be a nightmare. I also have a huge tummy, so most tops are loose along the armholes and tight in the belly area. Sigh. It can be discouraging to go clothes-shopping when you feel like nothing fits you well, but I’ve found shops whose sizes work well for my figure, thank god 🙂

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