It’s Sunday night and I’m sat on the sofa cup of tea in hand and it’s time to be honest. Something just hasn’t felt right for me for a while. Sunday’s are normally the day where I would stress out over what I’m going to have scheduled for the week and I’ve decided that’s got to change.
This post is gonna be real talk, unedited and getting my feelings onto paper… or into a blog post. I’m finding ‘adulting’ extremely difficult (I hate that term, but can’t think of a better word for it at the moment). It’s taken me a good six months to realise that I’m trying to do everything – and it’s too bloody hard. I started a new job in January, two weeks later I got engaged and we’ve been planning ever since, and in the past 2 months we’ve gained another dog. On top of that I freelance and pretty much daily blog.
A few weeks ago I was feeling really stressed and I put that down to work, it’s taken me a good fortnight to realise that it wasn’t just work, it’s the mountain of other things I leave myself to contend with on a daily basis. My house is a mess and I can’t keep on top of it, by the time I’ve commuted home I’m shattered and have two dogs to walk (not moaning about that, it’s pretty much the best part of my day). By the time I’m sitting down to relax after cooking and eating it’s nearly ten o clock.
Realistically if I added up all the hours I spend working on my blog in a week it could be at least a part time job by now, and there’s something about that I find daunting and stressful. I feel like I don’t get to sit and read other people’s blogs as much as I want to – or used to, with more comments then I’ve ever had before that in itself can take up an hour a day. To my friends whose blogs I’ve neglected I’m sorry, and to the people I’ve promised I’ll check out your work I’m sorry too, I want to rectify that.
I feel like I’ve been penned myself into a detailed beauty review corner and it’s really hard to come up with that content 20 out of 30 days in a month. No one else is to blame for that but me, and often the posts I enjoy writing most are the ones that have nothing to do with beauty, and I think that’s purely down to overstretching myself in that area. At the moment I spend more time going to work without makeup, or rushing out the door because a dog’s been sick on the carpet and I’ve spent ten minutes cleaning it up – meaning the times I used to photograph things in the morning such as lipstick or eye shadow are a thing of the past. And I’m spending more time than I have in the past ten years with chipped or unpainted nails that the nail focused blog I started off as feels like a figment of my imagination.
I have a pile of lipsticks the size of Everest sat waiting to be reviewed, and three months worth of empties I have no idea what to do with and a cupboard that looks like it’s about to explode. Any photographs I do manage to get I get around to editing a week later and no longer like the images. The weather has been so shit this summer that dedicating time when I get home to redoing my makeup, getting some good pics and getting them edited and scheduled straight away made impossible by the constant looming grey clouds.
So here’s the point where I want to inject some change. Whilst I do want to remain predominately a beauty blog I’m desperate to mix it up – I don’t want that to define what I do or feel like I can’t blog about anything else. Expect lifestyle posts, OOTD, recipes and maybe what I did at the weekend type posts with more pictures. From now I want to let the content find and inspire me, rather than racking my brains wondering what I haven’t spoken about yet. At the start of the year one of my resolutions was to not blog daily – and whilst I haven’t blogged every single day, I haven’t exactly stripped it back that much. I am going to try and cut it down, but I do still feel a harsh ping every day I miss a post – and I think that’ll be a hard task for me to break the guilt cycle.
Oh balls, just sipped my tea an it’s gone cold, that feels like a metaphor for what I’m trying to say though. I need to readdress the blog/life balance, talk about things that I want to talk about and not let myself be defined by what I think I should be doing.
So I hope you don’t mind, as an old or new reader that there will be a bit of change around here. If you have any suggestions of things you’d like to see please let me know.